If you are going through a messy divorce involving kids, this can be a time-consuming process. While your kids might be unhappy about a pending divorce, it is up to you as parents to try your best to make this easier on them. Sometimes divorce can cause a person to be upset and distracted, but it is important to put your children's needs first during this time. Here are three mistakes you should try to avoid when it comes to your kids and a custody battle with your ex-spouse.
1. Not Seeking Out Counseling For Children
Children will be working through emotions from a divorce, and might need outside professionals to talk to. Especially if a divorce will lead to changes in their schedules, living arrangements or time spent with parents, setting up counseling sessions is a good idea. This is a healthy place for children to voice their fears and frustrations. You should be there for your children in case they want to talk, but they might do well with a counselor available as well.
2. Not Carving Out Quality Time With Children
If you are wrapped up in divorce proceedings, you might not be keeping the same schedule that you always had with your children. Anything that you can do to keep things normal, such as dinner together or supporting soccer practice, will keep your child on a schedule. Spending time together as usual will help them realize that not everything will change from a divorce. Work directly with your child custody lawyer to get through custody issues or agreements behind the scenes and don't let this take away from quality time with your children.
3. Underestimating Children's Desires
Depending on the age of your children, they might have input on living situations, schedules and custody arrangements. It is a good idea to hear them out and see if you can find common ground. As a parent, you ultimately know what is best, but it is good to talk through details and changes with your children. There might be something that is important to them that they would like to stay consistent, such as a weekend activity.
If you are in a disagreement with your ex-spouse, deal with this through your attorneys, mediation, or the courts. Anything that you can do with your ex-spouse to provide a supportive environment for your children, the better. Remember that your children are going through this divorce as well and will need to feel safe and loved throughout the process.
Contact a lawyer like Andrew H P Norton for more information.
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