When you are going through a divorce, the idea of sharing custody with your spouse may make you angry, heartbroken, or a combination of those and other unpleasant emotions. The fight for custody of your kids isn't going to be easy, either, but you can make things easier on yourself by avoiding these all-too-common mistakes that could cost you big time in the fight for custody of your kids.
Mistake #1: Losing It on Your Ex or Your Kids
Judges want to see that children are going to be living in safe, healthy environments where their security is never threatened. You must never lose control or lose it on your ex or your kids throughout the entire separation and divorce proceedings. Parents who frequently lose control of their temper will be at a huge disadvantage in the courtroom. If you can't keep your cool, get into therapy right away. Find a way to control your temper and walk away any time you are tempted to fight with your ex. If you have lost it in front of your children, your ex, or anyone who may be called to testify about you, you have made a huge mistake in the fight for custody.
Mistake #2: Not Spending Enough Day-to-Day Time with Your Children
The primary daily childcare responsibilities tend to fall on one parent within a household. While both probably pitch in, the greatest day-to-day responsibilities are left to the primary caregiver. This parent does things like feeding and bathing your children in addition to making sure your children brushes their teeth and do their homework, If you are not acting as the primary caregiver, that could go against you in the fight for custody of your children. You need to be able to honestly show the judge that you are very involved in your kids' lives.
Mistake #3: Dating Right Away in Front of the Kids
You should refrain from dating until after your divorce is finalized if you have children. If you do feel that you must date, you should not introduce any dates to your children during this time, and you should not openly date in front of them. A judge may want to know about your lifestyle and may ask personal questions to understand your character. Play it safe.
Mistake #4: Ignoring the Specific Advice of Your Child Custody Lawyer
Your child custody attorney is acting with your best interests in mind, and your lawyer can be your biggest ally in your journey for custody. Follow their advice. If your child custody lawyer says something that you don't want to follow, talk about it. Find out why they want you to do certain things and why they may want you to refrain from certain things. You will likely find that there are good reasons and the advice is given to protect you.
Finally, keep in mind that you should play it safe throughout the entire child custody fight. Be on your best behavior. Show up for your children every chance you can and let them know that you are acting in the ways that will protect them now and in the future. When you do the right things and keep open communication with your ex, you are setting your family up for its best chance of happiness during and after a divorce. For more information, contact a firm such as The Law Offices of Paul F. Moore II.
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