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5 Tips For Presenting The Idea Of A Prenuptial Agreement

1 February 2021

Deann Miles

Are you planning to take your relationship to the next level by getting married? While this is an exciting time for all couples, it can also bring up a potentially unpleasant or even explosive concept: signing a prenuptial agreement. How can you ask for a prenup without it ending your relationship? Here are five important tips to follow.

1. Discuss It Early.

Even though it seems a bit early and may be awkward to bring up, the idea of a prenuptial agreement is best brought up early rather than late. Springing it on your fiancé is a quick way to an argument. It could seem disingenuous and may even make them feel 'duped' if you only mention a prenup after the question is popped. 

2. Be Honest About Your Feelings. 

What motivates you to want a prenuptial agreement? Are you traumatized by a bitter parental divorce? Do you want to ensure that both you and your future spouse have an amicable parting if children are involved? Do you disagree with the way that your state mandates the division of property? Whatever your reasons, let your partner know them. Otherwise, they may assume the worst.

3. Listen to Your Fiancé's Concerns. 

Talking about a prenup should be a two-way conversation. Even if you feel that this agreement is logical and fair, listen to your partner's concerns about it. The more you understand their perspective on the subject, the better you can assuage concerns and help them see it in a positive light.

4. Make It Collaborative.

If you do want a prenup, avoid drawing it up in advance and simply presenting it to your partner. Instead, arrange for both partners to work on the drafting together in real time. If one party creates the initial document on their own, it will likely reflect their interests disproportionately — further alienating the other party. 

5. Focus On What's Important.

Don't try to address everything in a prenuptial agreement. Instead, make a list of the specific things that are most important for you to clarify. This could be sequestering your inheritance, the assurance that you will both share parenting rights and responsibilities, or addressing equality when you have unequal assets. By staying focused on only what matters, you avoid creating unnecessary drama or hurt feelings. 

Where to Start

Your first step in planning a prenuptial agreement should be to meet with a family lawyer in your state. Get your own questions answered and prepare better to address any questions your partner may have when you discuss it. Make an appointment today to get started. 

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